You have probably heard of a birth plan. But a postpartum plan?
Creating a birth plan gives you the opportunity to clarify what kind of birth you would like to have…it allows you to think about your options, explore each one, and determine which would be ideal for you. Once you have written your birth plan, it serves as a communication tool. Sharing your birth plan with your caregivers opens a discussion about your preferences and your expectations.
A postpartum plan provides the same benefits.
Thinking about how you want your postpartum period to feel allows you map out what you need to make a smooth transition from woman to mother, to identify available support, and to determine any obstacles in your way. Providing a copy of your postpartum plan to loved ones starts a dialogue about how you anticipate handling visitors and what help you may seek from them…having something on paper can often make difficult conversations easier.
It is important to have both a birth plan and a postpartum plan.
I know when I had my first baby, my entire focus was on the birth.
I realised that as a new mother I would be breastfeeding a lot and I wouldn’t be sleeping much.
But my thoughts about the postpartum period were vague, and although I thought about stocking the freezer with snacks and meals, I didn’t actually put any specific support measures in place.
After my birth, I felt triumphant.
During my postpartum period, I felt defeated.
I expected the exhaustion.
However I did not expect to feel totally overwhelmed.
I had to care for my baby, I had to care for my body (a large abdominal separation and an episiotomy left me feeling physically fragile), I felt I had to care for my husband, I felt I had to care for visitors, I felt I had to maintain my house, I felt I had to maintain the pace of my life.
I felt unable to keep up…it was too much.
And yet as I shuffled around the house, in clothes covered in breastmilk, trying to soothe my fussing baby, I also felt frustrated by the monotony life with a newborn…it was too little.
In retrospect, I do not regret how I cared for my baby.
What I regret is how I cared for myself…what I expected of myself, the demands I put upon myself, the way I pushed myself to carry on as if I had not just given birth and did not have a baby in my arms.
When I had my second baby, I was wiser.
Instead of rushing to rejoin the world, I stayed home, cocooned on the couch with my baby.
I didn’t practice traditional confinement…I did venture out for walks to the park or to the cafe but I left outings like grocery shopping, kindy drop offs, and taking the dog to the park to my husband, family, and friends.
I treated myself patiently and gently.
I allowed myself the time and the space to recover, to rest, and to bond with my baby.
I knew that I would rejoin the world soon enough…that these blissful days spent watching the world through my window, with my baby at my breast, were few and fleeting.
Giving birth is momentous. But it is just a beginning.
Becoming a mother is the ultimate transition and there is much to be said for conscious preparation of those first few weeks and months.
Creating a postpartum plan is a way of honouring this new stage of your life.
This new phase can be plagued with exhaustion and feelings of overwhelm or it can be filled with peace and brimming with joy.
Planning a restorative pause during which you focus solely on nurturing your baby, falling in love with them and learning how to breastfeed, has lasting positive benefits for both you and your baby.
In addition to downloading your postpartum planner, here are some practical tips to guide your period of rest and recovery.
– Try to abide by the motto, “One week in the bed, one week on the bed, one week around the bed.”
– Tell family and friends that you don’t need gifts, but you would love warm, comforting food. And it is absolutely okay to ask them to simply drop off the food without greeting you or meeting your baby.
– If family and friends insist on buying a gift, make a gentle suggestion that they purchase a gift for you rather than for your baby. A gift for the mother, an in-home postnatal massage perhaps, is more helpful than flowers, cuddle toys, and baby blankets.
When a mother is cared for during her postpartum period, not only does her baby benefit but she does too.
It is said many different ways, what is good for the mom is good for the baby or a happy mom means a happy baby, and it is true…perhaps more true during the postpartum period than at any other time in life.