I hope you all are well.
My IG archive recently reminded me of the time I flew from Brisbane to NYC with a four year old and a 18 month old. The flight was obviously long and there was not a lot of sleep to be had. But the real killer was the jet lag. The kids weren’t in synch and so other than a few micro naps, I ended up being awake for days.
As we were all miserable, I decided to cut our city visit short and we took the train to my parents house.
The relief I felt when I got off the train and saw my mom and dad (and could hand the still jet lagged kids over to them) was almost indescribable.
Until I realised I had left my bag with my computer, my camera, my wallet, and our passports on the train.
Cue a total breakdown.
Thankfully we were able to race to the next station and my bag was right where I left it.
Seeing that photo immediately and viscerally brought back the complete exhaustion, desolation, desperation that I felt at that time.
And I realised that those emotions used to be a fairly constant part of my life, and that I haven’t felt that way in a while.
Part of the reason for that is simply my kids are older and have aged out of the intense neediness of very young children.
Part of the reason for that is understanding my limits.
And part of the reason for that is learning how to ask for help.
If you are exhausted, trying to figure out how to feed your newborn, wondering how something so little can create so much chaos, feeling invisible behind a mountain of laundry, please know that you are allowed to ask for help.
While we are beginning to acknowledge the experiences of pregnancy and birth, we still seem content to let mothers disappear once they have had their babies.
We should be attentive to mothers during this time, supporting them as they gain confidence in their new role, encouraging them as they learn how to ask for help.
Here are ways that I can help.
I can listen. Please feel free to reply to this email or to give me a call and let me know how you are feeling.
I can refer you to my colleagues. If you need a women’s health physio, a counsellor, a lactation consultant, a paediatric osteo, I can give you the names of trusted practitioners. And if you don’t know what you need or even if you need anything at all, refer back to the first way I can help!
I can create a mother’s group. If you are feeling isolated and would like to connect with other mothers, I am happy to get the Zoom mother’s group going again or plan an in person mother’s group.
And keep in touch!
Here is what’s coming up:
I have teamed up with Blossom Antenatal to offer a class for birth partners. Practical tools any member of the team can use to support birth mothers during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
Wednesday 15 July at 7:00pm
Wednesday 29 at 7:00pm
You can register here.
Saturday 1 August and Saturday 8 August:
IN PERSON group hypnobirthing positive birth course
Tuesday 4 August, Tuesday 11 August, Tuesday 18 August, Tuesday 25 August:
ZOOM group hypnobirthing positive birth course
Tuesday 21 July at 7:30pm:
FREE hypnobirthing positive birth information session
Here is the Zoom link and the password is hypnobirth.
Here are five things that might help to boost your oxytocin this week.
When I look back through the gratitude notes in my journal, definite themes have emerged these past few weeks.
Warmth – slippers, extra hot coffees, turning on the heater.
Hypnobirthing – having the opportunity to teach women and their partners about positive birth.
Holidays – both our 2018 European adventure popping up in my FB memories and the slow days of the past two weeks of school holidays.
1 – What’s your comfort movie? I could just about always watch The Sound of Music, Almost Famous, or The Devil Wears Prada.
2 – Jennifer Hudson singing Respect gives me chills…I can’t wait to see the full movie.
3 – Tacos are always a winner. I could literally wrap anything up in a tortilla, call it a taco, and the kids would eat it. So these quick and easy chicken tinga tacos are going on the menu.
4 – Amusing would-you-rathers for parents during quarantine. Would you rather boxed mac and cheese be nutritious, or Mary Poppins be real and living with you?
5 – And because my chocolate craving doesn’t seem to ever be satisfied, I have been keeping these chocolate fat bombs in the freezer. I use vanilla extract, maple syrup, leave out the essential oil, and sometimes turn them into peanut butter cups!
If you would like to get oxytocin boosters and other updates delivered directly to your inbox, you can sign up to my weekly-ish newsletter here.
I will only ever send you information about upcoming free Zoom events and links to things that I think will make you happy.
And to be honest, before this pandemic the last time I sent an email was probably 2018, so don’t worry about me clogging up your inbox!