Certainly motherhood begins with birth.
With tears of joy, open arms, and an elated heart, you welcome your baby into this world.
But birth is just one moment.
Once your baby is in your arms, then you begin the slow transition to motherhood.
And if you use birth to mean an emergence, then I think motherhood involves almost continual births.
Just like giving birth to your baby, giving birth to yourself as a new woman, a mother is sometimes easy, sometimes hard, sometimes you do it alone, other times you require an entire support team, sometime you look back and feel nothing but pride, other times you look back and wish you had done things differently.
As mothers constantly face decisions, sometimes they feel like battles.
And just like birth was perhaps a battle that we emerged from as a mother, we emerge from these battles as a different mother.
We are constantly evolving, progressing.
Even if you can’t see it, you might sense it. Slowly, slowly, birth after birth, you are shaping yourself into a mother.
Over the challenging first days, weeks, months, you may not notice it. But day by day, you are growing stronger, more confident, more able to take one the next task of motherhood.
There are certain skills that I think most mothers emerge with…common tactics that have helped them along the way.
From what I have experienced, the solutions to most mothering problems seem to be the same.
-Mindfulness. Spending quality time with your children. I always find that if I go all in…whether it be making mud pies along side my kids or being told how to run a train around the track…then I am actually entertained by the play. But if I allow myself to be distracted by my phone and my to do list, then I am bored and fidgety and not enjoying the time with my children. Your kids benefit and you benefit too.
-Looking at balance as a macro concept rather than a micro one. Day to day, my life is not at all balanced. One day I may play all day with the kids…get no work done, do zero laundry. Other days I do chores around the house and serve up a three course dinner. Other days I am at work and the kids are at childcare and it is eggs for dinner. Other days I forgo family time to do a yoga class and have a solo coffee. But I think that over the course of the week balance is more or less achieved. And even week to week, some weeks I need to lean into work and so the housework doesn’t get done. Other weeks I don’t get much work done but we have some great family time. I can feel when one sphere is lacking and allow myself time to make it up.
-Taking time for yourself. Realising that what is good for you is good for your baby. You need to nurture yourself. And along with this, depending on the age of your baby, you might need to readjust what taking time for yourself means. It could mean putting your little one day for a nap, turning on Peppa Pig for your eldest and lying down for ten minutes. It might be doing the dishes, standing at a the sink, feeling into the parts of your baby that are tense, allowing yourself to release, focusing on breathing into your belly. It might be a hot cup of tea. It might be a yoga class. Or sending the kids out with
The skills you learn when you first transition, the solutions are the same throughout motherhood. The more quickly you get the hang of it the better.
Mindfulness.
Being in it.
Accepting that there is more juggle, less balance.
Taking time for yourself.
Realising that what is good for you is good for your baby.
Your birth will change your life! Let’s ensure it is a positive change! To find out more about hypnobirthing and class options, please click here.