Positive Birth + Postpartum Care + Food

Bringing Up Baby – Tips and Hints

While I am thinking of it, here are some tips and hints that I have discovered along the way.
1. Hand towels
I founds hand towels to be very…well, handy.  
As I mentioned in the bath time post, putting a hand towel in the back of the baby tub makes it much easier to hang onto the greased watermelon that is your baby.  
I still have a hand towel stashed under my pillow in case of night time boob leaks.  An aside, everyone talks about how great it is when your baby starts sleeping through the night.  And it is great.  The problem is that no one gives your boobs the memo.  Your baby is asleep but you and your boobs are up.  And your boobs are likely leaking all over your bed.  So grab that hand towel from under your pillow, spread it out under you, roll over and try to go back to sleep.  Soon enough your boobs’ supply will realize that there isn’t as much demand and then you will be sleeping through the night too!
Hand towels are also obviously great for mopping up spit up, you can use them as a change pad…they are excellent as another layer if you think it is going to be an especially nasty diaper, and for any other baby clean up issues.
And another bonus is that they don’t take up much room in the laundry.
So stock up!
2. Night lights
After discovering that it was not fun for baby, mommy, daddy or puppy to turn on a bright light for every night time feed and change we went out and bought some of those little LED battery push lights…I am sure they have a real name but I have no idea what it might be.  Anyway, I kept one next to my side of the bed, Daddy R had one next to his side of the bed and I think we had one on the change table as well.  So if Baby C was fussing I just clicked on my dim little light, changed him, fed him and popped him back into bed without waking anyone up too much…even I would remain half asleep.
Now that he is in his own room, we still have these lights on our bedside tables and if we hear him fussing we bring the light with us to see what he is fussing about and then use it to guide the way back to our bed!
  
3. Baskets
When you are carrying a baby in one arm opening drawers just doesn’t work…and when you need both arms to carry your baby because he is a very heavy baby just forget about it.  Baskets to the rescue.  I kept three big baskets on top of Baby C’s dresser and filled them with things that I often needed to grab…swaddling flannels, muslins and clothes.  I got mine, shown below, at IKEA.  (Look at me getting all fancy with an embedded link!)
I also had baskets on the changing table shelves to keep things organized…washers in one basket, towels in another and a third for extra wipes and nappy sacks.
4. Delayed reaction time
When babies are crying because something is bothering them…say they have to burp and then they do burp and you think they should feel relief and stop crying but they don’t…this is because they have a delayed reaction time.  It takes babies a few seconds or minutes to process the fact that their tummy isn’t sore any more and then to actually stop crying.  So be patient.  Of course babies do sometimes cry for no reason…you just have to be patient then too!

5. Accept help
I am a control freak but I think it took even me about two days to realize that I was just going to have to suck it up, accept help and therefore not be so particular about the way things were done.  Who really cares that Daddy R puts on diapers differently than I do…when it is the middle of the night and Daddy R offers to get up and change the nappy I certainly don’t.  And does it really matter that Daddy R bathes Baby C in a manner that doesn’t make sense to me…as long as Baby C gets mostly clean then I don’t think it matters at all.  Let people…especially your partner…help you!  Let your sister-in-law do your laundry.  Let your friend take the baby on a walk so you can have a rest…or watch Project Runway.  Accepting help is good for you and therefore good for your baby!

List-mania – Part 6 – Bathing

Rub a dub dub, baby is in the tub.

Or rather in the bucket.  At least that is what we bathed Baby C in for the first two weeks.  Keep in mind this was not a fancy “tummy tub” bucket…it was actually more of a bowl.  It was given to Baby C by work colleagues…usually we donate the unused bowls to animal shelters but this one was donated to the Baby C cause.  Anyway the first few weeks…or months really…you don’t need to bathe your baby all that often.  All newborns do is sleep, eat and poo so as long as you are reasonably diligent about cleaning up dribbled milk, spit up and their nappies then they shouldn’t be very dirty.  I suppose it depends a bit on the season…summer babies might benefit from a daily bath…but Baby C was a winter baby and our house was so cold it felt cruel to strip him down and dunk him in water more often than was necessary so he got bathed every other day.   

After about two weeks in his bowl, Baby C graduated to a baby tub.  As with all things baby you can get some really flash tubs…ours was the most basic.  One tip if you get one of these plastic tubs is to put a hand towel between the baby’s slippery back and the tub’s slippery sides…it provides a bit of extra grip and makes it a bit easier to handle your baby.  Also, because obviously you can never leave your baby alone in the bath make sure you have everything you need before you begin.  Everything you need includes wipes to wipe up anything nasty that might be in the diaper you are taking off, a washer or two, baby soap, baby shampoo, a towel or two, a new diaper, baby lotion and a clean outfit.

After about three months Baby C got too big for the baby tub…he could still physically fit in the tub but he was too big for me to hold with one hand.  So now we are on to our bath sling seat.  This thing is fantastic.  I just put Baby C in it and while he splashes away I have both hands free to wash him, pass him the rubber duck or take a picture of him looking all cute with suds in his hair.  Baby C loves the freedom of being unconstrained in the big tub and I love not having to man handle a wet, slippery twenty pound baby.  This seat even has a little pocket at the back to store washers or a bath toy…although for Baby C washers are a bath toy.

In retrospect I think instead of going through three different baby bath options I would have just gotten this…wait for it…three-in-one seat.  It has a sling for newborns, infants use the reclining seat and once the baby is able to sit they use the upright end.

So, to recap, you need some sort of baby bath.  Which one is right for you depends a bit on what your bathroom set up is.  When Baby C was bathing in his newborn bowl we actually just used our kitchen table as our bathing area.  In our bathroom we have a shower stall and a separate tub.  We put the baby bath in the shower stall…we have a hand held shower head that was handy for filling up the tub.  The sling seat goes in the stand alone tub and I sit on a stool so I don’t have to kneel.  And of course you also need washers and towels…the hooded ones are great, you need something to clean your baby with…I went with Gaia hair and body wash, and I also use Gaia body mosturizer after the bath because I like to give Baby C a little massage and because it smells amazing.

Baby C absolutely loves his bath.  We now do it every evening before bed.  He splashes up a storm, he gets a little relaxing massage, he gets put into his pjs, popped into a Grobag, he gets the boob and then zzzzzzzzzzz.

I can always unframe it…

Daddy R and I were watching The Office the other day…the one where Pam is pregnant and crying while watching dog commercials…and I said something along the lines of at least I wasn’t like that when I was pregnant and Daddy R said yes you were just like that.  He said while I wasn’t super emotional and crying at work I was at times unreasonable.  I, of course, have no recollection of ever being unreasonable!

That got us talking about our different perspectives about the pregnancy and especially about the birth.  I have very tender, and I suppose sentimental, memories of giving birth to Baby C.  Perhaps this is because I did hypnobirthing and went into labor expecting to have a good experience…and came out of labor wanting to remember a good experience…but I honestly don’t recall it as being that bad.  I remember the contractions as being manageable and I have vague memories of being tired during the pushing part.  Daddy R’s recollection of the birth is completely different.  He remembers the contractions much the same way that I do but his memories of the pushing part are much more gruesome than mine.  I suppose I should lend some credence to Daddy R’s version of events as he actually saw everything and was actually very physically present during the labor.  I on the other hand didn’t see anything and went through the labor feeling as if I was sort of outside myself.  I imagine that feeling of being sort of physically detached during the labor combined with the immediate elation of finally having my baby and then the insane hormone changes and the exhaustion all combined to give me birthing amnesia.    

We didn’t discuss it but I bet that we have different views on how the first few months went too…I bet Daddy R’s version involves Baby C sleeping through the night from two weeks on!

For the record I was never unreasonable and Baby C didn’t start consistently sleeping through the night until around four months!

List-mania – Part 5 – Diapers

Since we just talked about diaper surprises I thought I would write about what you need to change your baby…diapers are really only the beginning!

1. Change Table
First up, a changing table.  You don’t actually need the whole table as you can really change your baby anywhere.  One of my friends, Mommy C, has a changing pad and a basket full of diapers and wipes and other goodies and she just changes her baby on the bed or on the table or on the floor.  We are talking about pee and poo here…you really don’t need anything fancy.  But I personally liked having an actual table because it provided storage for all the diaper changing accoutrements and because it contains the diaper mess…or contains it as much as diaper mess can be contained.  Also, your back is sore enough from having to carry a newborn around all day, from breastfeeding, from wrangling prams…you don’t need to add more strain by having to bend over each time you change your baby. 
As with cribs, as long as the changing table is sturdy, secure and safe, what it looks like and how much you spend on it is entirely up to you.
We ended up with the Valco Comfort Change Centre…mainly because it was offered on ebay at the right price.  This change table comes with a tub under the actual changing part but we never used the bath…we just used the tub for more storage.  All the storage was great…some of the things you will need to store are… 
2. Diapers
I found Huggies to be the best for Baby C…maybe because they come in male and female varieties…but you can’t beat Aldi for price. So we compromise and use Aldi during the day when I know I will be changing Baby C’s nappy every three hours or so and Huggies at night…Huggies can go the twelve hour distance.  One note about Huggies newborn diapers…don’t pay attention to that wetness indicator.  If your baby even thinks about peeing it turns color.  It is obviously intended to get you to change the nappy all the time…and use more Huggies.  But take it from me, these diapers can hold liters of pee.
3. Wipes
Any old kind will do…probably the fewer chemicals in them the better…look for alcohol free and fragrance free.  You will use thousands of these things so if you see wipes you like on special buy them up in bulk.
4. Nappy Rash Cream
I don’t think babies really get diaper rash anymore but Baby C with his thunder thighs did get a little inner leg chaffing and the Bepanthen cleared that right up.  To this day he hasn’t had any actually diaper rash but I would feel like a bad mom if I didn’t have some in my changing table just in case!
5. Other Items
We also stored most of our first aid stuff in the change table…saline nose drops, baby panadol, paw paw ointment, nail clippers.
And even though we didn’t use the bath function on our change table I also kept all of Baby C’s bathing equipment there…washers, towels.
Oh and very important…always keep at least one change of clothes in or near the change table…makes it easy in case…or rather when…there is a leak.
6. Changing Pad Cover
You will probably need two changing pad covers.  These protect the actual changing pad from the pee and poo onslaught.  I only got one changing pad cover and then covered that with disposable waterproof pads.  Sometimes both the waterproof pad and the changing pad cover got hit.  So in retrospect probably two changing pad covers would have been a better bet.
7. Diaper Disposal
There are Diaper Genies and nappy pails and all sorts of fun ways to dispose of nappies.  Bluntly, the goal here is to prevent your baby’s room from smelling like shit.  We went with the most basic.  We just use a clip to attach a nice smelling nappy disposal bag to the corner of the change table and just drop wipes and diapers in there.  Once the bag is full…or after a particularly fragrant diaper…we just tie the bag off and put it in the kitchen bin…or take it immediately out to the big bin, And so far our nursery doesn’t smell like shit.
8. Diaper Bag
You can get a messenger style diaper bag, a luxury leather diaper bag, you can even get a diaper clutch!  Of course you don’t really need a diaper bag…any old tote bag would do the trick…but the pockets and straps and key clips all do help you feel more organized.  Your diaper bag needs to hold basically everything your changing table holds…a change pad, diapers, wipes, nappy sacks, maybe some cream and DEFINITELY a change of clothes.  And it is nice if it also holds your keys, your phone, your wallet, your water bottle, your sunglasses and some small toys for the baby.  I love my bag because it can hold all of that without being too bulky but if I need to I can really load it up…when Baby C and I traveled back to the USA I got twenty four diapers in there!
And when shopping for your diaper bag, check the Internet.  I bought my bag on amazon.com for about forty dollars.  Similar bags in Australia were upwards of one hundred and fifty dollars.  These bags hold diapers people!  Sometimes dirty ones!  This is not an “it” bag…you do not need to spend a lot!

The Four Month Mark

I absolutely cannot believe that Baby C is almost five months old.  How did that happen?  In another five  months he will be ten months…that is almost a year old!  I will be the mother of a one year old!

Anyway, now that we are almost at the end of four months I can say that the fourth month is a huge month.  It seems like the baby we had at the beginning of the fourth month is completely different from the baby we have at the end of the fourth month.
At the beginning of the month I was feeling a bit discouraged.  Baby C was still eating every two hours, still not napping with any regularity, still not even close to sleeping through the night…and my tummy was still all flabby.
To illustrate my state of mind, here are some emails that I sent to Mommy B.  First…


How are you going with the solids? I guess I was hoping that Baby C would really take to them and gobble them up but I think he is still getting used to them. Actually truth be told I was wanting him to eat them and then sleep through the night! But that hasn’t happened. If anything he has been waking up more! He wakes up and feeds for about two minutes and then just uses me as a human pacifier. Some one of these nights I am just going to have to let him cry it out. Because he isn’t actually hungry and I can’t keep waking up every three hours just so he can suck on me! I know that is easier said then done…when he works himself up I just can’t help going and picking him up! I guess I just thought that by four months he would be better at sleeping! 
Oh, and are you doing just doing solids twice a day? How is it supposed to work? Do we just increase the amount and number of solid meals gradually? I am guessing it will take a month or so before he drops a breast milk meal? Or maybe longer? Baby C is still having milk every two hours!


And a few days later…


Is Baby T still feeding every two hours or so? When are they supposed to stretch out the time between feeding? The book I have says that by four months when they are starting solids they should only be feeding about every four hours. And I have checked on the internet and of course the chat boards say every baby is different and there is no normal blah blah blah. But feeding every two hours is exhausting me! Even every two hours during the day is tiring let alone every two hours at night too!
 And Baby C is now eating a fair amount of solids. Last night he had about a teaspoon of rice cereal (measured when it was dry) mixed with about a tablespoon of puree. Then he had two breastfeeds before bed and the last feed was both boobs. And he still woke up every two hours! And his feeds during the night were real feeds and not just sucking.
I think today I will try giving him both boobs at every feed and see if that helps. I think maybe he is constantly snacking instead of getting a real milk meal? I just can’t keep up with all this feeding!

My milk makers and I were exhausted!  So I set to work.  I decided the big issues were the constant feeding and not sleeping through the night…and of course the saggy tummy.

As you can see from the emails, Baby C started solids at four months.  I made the decision to start solids at four months because of two reasons.  First, Baby C weighed in at over 8kg at his four month check up…he is one big baby with one big appetite.  Which leads me to the second reason…he was still feeding every two hours!  We started with rice cereal mixed with breast milk, moved on to rice cereal mixed with water and finally rice cereal mixed with fruit and vegetable purees.  It took Baby C a few days to get interested in solids and then I didn’t see any change in his number of breastfeeds or his sleeping pattern for about two weeks after that.  But now he seems to really enjoy solids…he often tries to grab the spoon and shove it in his mouth…and I have noticed a definite change in his feeding routine.  His feeding schedule…yes he finally has something that could be loosely definite as a schedule…goes something like this:
6:30 breastfeed
9:00 solid breakfast with a breast milk chaser
11:00 breastfeed
2:00 breastfeed
5:00 solid dinner with a breast milk chaser
10:00 breastfeed
In addition to introducing solids I also started giving Baby C both boobs every time he breastfed.  Previously I would just offer him one…just because that is what we did at the hospital and so it is what we continued doing and until about three and a half months it seemed to satisfy him.  The combination of solids and offering both boobs seemed to solve the feeding every two hours problem and I am sure the full tummy helped to make a dent in the sleeping problem.

The rest of the sleeping problem was solved by tough love.  When Baby C was sleeping in a small cot in our bedroom I would wake at the slightest noise and just stick him on the boob because I wanted to go back to sleep, Daddy R wanted to go back to sleep, Puppy S wanted to go back to sleep and feeding him was the easiest thing to do.  About the same time he started solids we moved Baby C into his own room and then it became a lot easier to ignore him.  I suppose ignore is the wrong word but instead of hopping out of bed every time he made a peep I would wait to see if the peep developed into a real fuss.  And if it did develop into a real fuss then Daddy R would go into Baby C’s room first to see if he could be calmed with some shhing and only if that didn’t work did the boobs come out!  And the technique seemed to work because he has been sleeping through the night…fingers crossed it continues!

So we have conquered the night time sleeping but I am still working on getting Baby C to settle himself for naps.  He can settle himself in the pram or in the car and has on the rare occasion settled himself in his crib but most days he needs the boob to help him settle.  Usually his breastfeeding time coincides with his nap time so he doesn’t get much practice…although I do make sure that he doesn’t fall completely asleep on the boob.  If anyone has any tips or hints on how I can help him to settle himself for naps please leave them in the comments!

So at the end of the fourth month I am feeling so much better…and I imagine that Baby C is feeling better too!  And in addition to the better eating and sleeping routines Baby C is just a joy to be around.  He is rolling with the best of them, he is kind of sitting, he smiles and giggles, he has likes and dislikes…it is just wonderful to be around him.  I feel like I am on top of the mommy world!  Now I just have to do something about that flabby, saggy tummy!